When delivering menopause awareness programs in the workplace we meet many men who are attending sessions in their capacity as people leaders. Many of these men are also navigating a very real experience of menopause in their personal lives. This can be stressful, demanding and lonely. 
 
We think of menopause being a very female (inc.trans male & non-binary) issue but we very rarely consider men and their experience. This has to change if we are to support menopause effectively in our workplaces and society. 
 
Some of the things we hear from men: 
“I don’t know much about menopause” As a society we are ill-educated about a life phase that impacts 51% of the global population. Women’s health has been poorly invested in, and this has resulted in everyone having extensive knowledge gaps, including medical professionals. 
Some men who attend our training feel awkward that they do not know a great deal about the menopause. We reassure them that they are not alone. Most women also know very little, and we have work to do to raise understanding for everyone, all genders and ages. 
 
“My partner won’t talk to me about what’s she’s going through” Most men want to help their partners when they are suffering and can struggle when communication dries up. Men will never go through menopause and so empathizing can be difficult. They see their partner changing but don’t understand why or what that might feel like. 
 
“I don’t know how I can help my partner” Helping makes most of us feel better. We want to do something practical to “fix the problem”. Helping in this situation may look different. It is not your job to “fix” but understand and empathise. 
 
“I feel rejected by my partner” Menopause can stress relationships and lead to women changing physically and psychologically. Symptoms drive behaviours that may make some men feel rejected. For example, low mood or emotional outbursts causing tensions, impacts on intimacy linked to dropping libido, pain/discomfort in intimate areas or fatigue. Men need to realise that it is not personal, however difficult that may be for them. 
 

Concerning Trends 

Recent studies indicate that menopause plays a notable role in the rising divorce rates among middle-aged couples in the UK. According to the Office for National Statistics, there has been a marked increase in divorces among people aged 45 and over, with over 60% of these divorces being instigated by women. Some of these divorces could be prevented with better menopause awareness, support and communication. 
 
We also know that suicide peaks in women aged 45 to 54 years. This is the typical age of the menopause and also reflects a time when women, and men, have the greatest emotional load and work pressures. 

Recommendations 

Menopause awareness and support for men has never been so important. We recommend the following support strategies for men within your organisation: 
 
 Invite all male leaders and colleagues to menopause awareness sessions. Ensure there is sufficient time to share openly and frankly. Think about running some sessions targeted at men only audiences as well. 
 
 Encourage men to join any menopause networks that exist within your company. Ask them to share their perspectives and seek help from their colleagues. 
 
 Encourage men to become menopause champions and advocates so that we move from ‘them and us’ to just ‘us’. 
 
I recently had the pleasure in interviewing a male leader about his experience in supporting his wife through menopause. He shared openly about the difficult journey they had been on. 
 
“Perimenopause has really tested our relationship but, ultimately, it has made us stronger. We learned early in our journey that communication is so important. Sometimes I have felt rejection, but I knew it wasn’t personal. It was still difficult. My advice is finding a way to talk about menopause openly with your partner and keep talking. This may last a few years and you need to keep the lines of communication open. 
 
Companies need to understand that partners can also be significantly impacted by their partner’s menopause. My partner had severe symptoms, and I had to pick up the majority of the domestic load, whilst working. The flexibility and support offered by my employer has been invaluable.” 
Share this post: